Friday, November 6, 2009

Punked by Doritos (again!)

I do not like Doritos. I am pretty sure I did at one time as I’ve consumed enough of them over the years. But my tastes, in this and other things, have evolved over time and these enduring corn tortilla chips are the latest item heaped on the pile of things that I no longer crave.
Nevertheless, the lure of this particular brand of munchies remains powerful, and I seem to be easily seduced by the latest “New Flavor!” on the grocery shelves. The pattern is disturbingly identical every time;
I see the new flavor on the supermarket shelves.
I say to myself, “Don’t do it. You won’t like ‘em.”
The other voice in my head responds, “Maybe this is the taste sensation that’ll have you falling in love with them again.”
I buy them, take them home, consume a few, and don’t touch the bag again (until I pitch them in the trash due to staleness.)
The latest taste I fell for? Doritos Collisions Zesty Taco/Chipotle Ranch. Sigh. Sure, the first handful was a pleasant enough salty/savory/flavory experience. After that? It’s just a mouthful of corn-based substance that I don’t even care to swallow once the seasoning is gone. Sort of like a piece of bubblegum once the flavor is gone.
So that’s it. We’re through Doritos. It’s been a nice 40 years, but it’s time to move on and . . . Oooh! Zesty Blackened Cajun Spice Doritos!